ELECTION DAY for c.

 

we watch the returns come in quickly

confused.

we realized it would be a close one

staring at the television staring at

the heads trying to figure out

what they’re to say  about

the fact that

what we’ve said is unclear;

these guys voted too, though,

so they’re just as guilty. America,

We, they say, are folded in half.

What to expect, when fed the projections,

and the polls,

Anything but wandering into to the booths split

spilt

content to let a typo decide the fate of the nation

The Vice President Senator’s Son and the

Governor President’s Son have talked on

the phone. It has been confirmed.

I have heard the word ‘snippy’ used.

 

My muse takes a backseat

and goes to bed at three, leaving me

dazed and shirtless under kitchen fluorescents;

over the drone of the microwave I hum in key

and empty dented cans, having waited on my hunger

show me what I’ve rationed myself:

 

I race to the couch at 3:17 for an update

different versions of different thoughts

settle around me.

I fight for position,

the live one, backspaced over

fixed

 

see there’s always one more voice than I counted on

just keeping me breathing until my vote counts

 

..

peeking over the shoulders of giants,

the hard up present their case:

bringing as evidence of innocence

another protracted attempt at a guilty erase.

 

well the deadline has been set and

the precincts have reported but still I have not

seen any results worth their salt

and even though everyone wants to be free

we all agree we must elect one

to lead.

And so to an (almost) empty room

choose

or however one might say it

I’m my own man

Didn’t somebody say that too?

 

it depends who you ask.

 

it makes the world and its observers shake their heads

and its leaders sigh with memories

of treaties never to be written,

makes ambassadors sigh in nostalgia as they

remember the more relaxed and approachable man

at G7 meetings

someone they would want at the other end of that phone

America and I are suffering this couch tonight

the melancholy of what could have been,

the alienated wonder of what one is to do

when the clichés fit

and the profundity of the majority does not suffice.

 

I see fit to hunker down

and eat off what Occham’s razor rations for me:

another chewed up pencil

another five minute nap in an office chair

another borrowed fax another fake hello

another greeting with stained teeth

another meeting more slides and more

another party platform, promising that it will be the immovable object

that the thought is fixed and becomes truth

 

sadly this is not the case:

 

young golf shirted white men

laugh and

the tweed jacket types patches and all

rub their chins as their girlfriends give any observers a

show with a worried look and an arm grab

tucked in and such

 

and it’s not all right but it mixes

with scotch better than silence

but not to worry

it’s four thirty in the morning and

I have no president

I have fire sleeping in my bed

A room over, pulsing as the music comes in louder now

through the floorboards

 

..

The love of a life like this isn’t free:

 

So instead of a wide smile and a

Heel of hand pressuring chin wonder I

Took another shot at sunrise

 

With just raw materials and rations

that rest heavy on this morning stained

couch; part sound part memory

part: another kiss without flesh

another tori amos record another missed

high note leaving a stain like impotence;

another lost ballot box

another envious complaint

another lost soul avoided through

anger and indifference, another

fit of goo goo eyed jealousy

another hot earthquake of her orgasm in my mouth

and my love is thawed and dripping through the floorboards again

and with

one swift reminder

on the importance of turnout

The America I am all of a sudden

has a lot to love and a lot to lose

..

and i’ve had a premonition about how this will all end

 

you close the door or maybe it’s me that closes it

and I don’t like that sound

that final slamming door

you’re only doing it because you want to sleep

and the television is keeping you awake

but it’s five twenty six and

I still don’t have a president

so I must train:

i make an excuse to get up and get out

and close it again

make sure it sounds how I want it to sound

 

I turn the television up to keep you

Up with me

Because it’s what you do when the world is sleeping that matters

and we’re front page ready

 

let them read about it in the morning papers